Monday, April 24, 2006

失魂记者

都说记者“站在最前线冲锋陷阵”,大家一定认为记者必须很“醒目”、“话头醒尾”、有眼观四方、耳听八方的特异功能。如果事实本该如此,我大概算是个异数。

我乌龙的程度,可以媲美电影桥段。忘记带相机、忘记带手提电脑上班事小,忘记带采访簿子是常有的事,忘记带笔,硬着头皮向受访者借笔这种事我也做过。

忘了相机,有一班摄影兄妹随时候命;忘记带采访簿子,可在车上随便挖几张废纸撑场;忘记带电脑上班,开车回家不过半小时的事,算不了什么乌龙大事。怎样才算乌龙呢?你有没有见过人去到机场才发现班机明天才起飞?

那一次,该知道我要飞的人都知道我那一天要飞。我起了个大早,拎着行李坐上德士启程到机场。抵达后,似乎有点迟了,我拨电话给负责接待我的人:“哈罗,我已经在机场了,你呢?”

对方大概吓坏了,又避免让我惊吓过度,勉强镇静地说:“不好意思,飞行日期应该在明天。”有无搞错?“对不起,没有,确定是在明天。”

我巴巴地背着行李回到办公室,给同事们笑到脸黄。庆幸自己能为大家制造一些欢乐之余,我把责任归咎在无纸作业的廉价航空(可恶的室友却坚持我天生蠢笨)。

失魂,让我处处碰壁,但是也让我看到这世界美好的一面。一次到中国旅游,我把装有身份证和钱的包包遗忘在一家餐馆。想起它之后飞奔回餐馆找,心想十之八九已经人间蒸发了,岂料柜台小姐原封不动归还,说:“我们帮你留下来了”。我感激涕流,觉得上天实在待我不薄。

后来在国会,我苦寻不着公司的新相机,以为丢失或漏在家里了,心里七上八下。数个小时后,我在曾经逗留过数分钟的茶水处找到了它。

乌龙型人种生存不易,多得路不拾遗和拔刀相助的人,我们这类型人才有生存的条件,才有机会说:“呵呵,这世界真美好。”且代同类在此向大家深情言谢。

(原刊《东方日报》生活资讯“晒网打鱼”专栏)

14 comments:

owl said...

I always forgot to bring pen or notepad but have yet to go to airport in one day's advance.

Yes, blame it on the budget airline. Ha ha!

God bless you -- we have so much misery in the world and reading your article does give good reasons to laugh!

陈慧思 said...

猫头鹰,你知道吗,我感恩非常,早到总比迟到好。哈哈。

Housemates said...

I've discovered another sample of your species in the UK. My housemate, a postgrad from China, even can forget whereabout in her room she keeps her keys, so she has to borrow my keys to go outside the house. Have you done this to my sister?

From,
Your roommate's brother
PS: maybe it's our family's luck that my sis and I have to live with the most 失魂 people on earth...

loongmate! said...

大佬,你妹妹本来也是那个种的,比她室友稍微高级一点而已。不过近年来已进化不少。

我会常常想“万一...就麻烦了。”所以越来越小心。还是会留车锁匙在车里,反锁,但不会再开车尾箱拿东西时把车锁匙丢进车尾箱再关上车尾箱了。找人开车尾箱比较贵。

大佬,人家早到好过你迟到!你进化了吗?

Housemates said...

进化了!

陈慧思 said...

大哥,欢迎大驾光临!说到命了窝,我也好不到多少。话说一次你老妹又找锁匙,找呀找,找呀找。没有呀,没有。后来我掀开电子煲水器的盖子,一看,你老妹的锁匙舒服地躺在里面的盖子和外面的盖子之间。我一直把这当作一个奇遇,所以记住了。索里啦,龙密!祝大哥大嫂在那里开心安康。

Housemates said...

开心安康... We wish so... but despite the distance in space, we are feeling the pains of Amran Zulkifli and others in realtime. Your blog's a relief though.

Housemates said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
loongmate said...

哦陈慧思你惨,你讲骗话,你陷害我。小心我报料!!

陈慧思 said...

我记得很清楚啦。不喜欢讲骗话。

陈慧思 said...

其实,我们俩已经进步了不少,这些事情发生在久远的年代。大哥尽管放心好啦。

loongmate said...

真的不记得了,对不起。。。好,不再报料,握手言和。

Lau Weng San said...

Don't worry, coz I think you can always use the other side of the media statement paper to take down your note, if you do not have papers.

We will leave several pages blank for reporters to take down any immediate notes, inc ase they do not have their notepad with them.

Worst come to worst, I used to bring a small notepad and a pen in my pocket. These could be of good use during emergency times, only when I am around.

陈慧思 said...

Thank you Weng San :-) You know me well. Be prepared for me next time!